“There are no words to express the abyss between isolation and having one ally. It may be conceded to the mathematician that four is twice two. But two is not twice one; two is two thousand times one.”
– G.K. Chesterton, The Man Who Was Thursday
Mathematicians might scoff at G.K. Chesterton’s mathematical abilities, but he captures a profound truth.
To some, friendship may seem like a luxury–a pleasant way to pass the time, a way to avoid boredom whilst here on earth. In point of fact, though, friendship is vital, a building block of Christian flourishing.
Friendship is one of the chosen ways by which God pours out His divine life and draws us into a pattern of healing and growth. Friendship is part of how God cultivates communion. Through friendship, God breaks through our isolation and leads us back to Himself. It’s not just something extra. It is one of the essential goods of Christian life.
Friendship is a form of love, and love is a combination of two desires. Basically, it is a desire for the good of the beloved and a desire for union with the beloved. The friend wants to promote the good of the other. He wants to encourage the other in his noble pursuits, but not as something that’s at a distance. The friend wants to be bound up with the other. It should be a common project, a common pursuit.
Aristotle, the greatest of the Greek philosophers who lived long before the coming of Jesus Christ, observed that there were three kinds of friendships: those that were useful, those that were pleasurable, and those that were grounded in the most noble pursuits. And of these, he rated noble friendship as the highest of them all.
Christians have long recognized the truth of Aristotle’s claim. For instance, St. Gregory Nazianzen wrote an oration following the death of his friend St. Basil the Great in the late fourth century. In a touching tribute to his friend, St. Gregory said, “Our single object and ambition was virtue, and a life of hope in the blessings that are to come. . . .We followed the guidance of God’s law and spurred each other on to virtue.”
Friends can challenge each other to pursue virtue without making each other a kind of project. They can call each other further up and further into the life of God, into the life of grace by the example that they set, maybe even sometimes by the correction that they give.
As a Dominican Friar, I know this dynamic well. In my life, I have been most encouraged or most edified in my Christian faith and practice by the good example of my Dominican brothers. The way that they live their religious consecration inspires me. Often it’s a kind of corrective. By seeing their witness, I recognize a way in which my own life is still lacking.
So I thank God for the gift of the Dominican Friars he has called to the Order, and not only them, but all those friends he has given me who make life possible. None of us will journey to God alone–we will go to God together. For two is not twice one. It is two thousand times one.
Fr. Gregory Pine, O.P., entered the Order of Preachers in 2010 and was ordained a priest in 2016. He is an assistant professor of dogmatic and moral theology at the Pontifical Faculty of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, DC. He is the author of numerous books and a co-host of the popular podcast Godsplaining.
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